mess o' goodness

my boyfriend has a green thumb. electric, neon green. his garden always kicks ass and the bags of goodies he sends home with me totally rock. this summer he tried his hands at growing collard greens (one of my all-time favorite foods on the planet) and no surprise - they've been a total success.

look at these babies!



i cut the thick stems off and then stacked the leaf halves on top of each other and roughly chopped them into big squares.

i set those aside and started frying up a couple of strips of bacon in a big pot. i browned the bacon and then took it out of the pot and crumbled it up. i chopped up half of an onion, threw it into the bacon grease and cooked it until soft and brown. then i put the bacon back in the pan and tossed in the greens. i wilted these for about 5-7 minutes.



then i poured in a can of chicken broth.


(no product placement here!)

i put a lid on the pot and simmered the greens over medium heat for about 45 minutes or so. these are pretty bitter if you don't really cook 'em down and they are so awesome at the end that they are totally worth the time.

once the greens were done i topped them off with my boyfriend's dad's homemade hot vinegar (he also has an electric green thumb and a lot of time on his hands.)



to compliment the greens i just boiled up some perogies. usually i'll boil them and then fry 'em for a minute or two in a pan with some butter and caramelized onions. this night i was too hungry and after spending an hour on greens i just wanted to eat.

IHOP's got nothin' on me!

my friend xenia from the blogger realm said she has been craving IHOP cuz apparently, "they don't have fluffy american pancakes" in her neck of the woods. this of course was after my rant about why going out to breakfast sucks. i stand by that rant and decided that sunday i would test myself by cookin' up some pancakes.

since i did not travel to black out island saturday night i was able to get up and get to the grocery store at a reasonable hour. also, it was pay week so i splurged and picked up some sausage links. i got the maple flavored ones. yum. yum. yum.

my favorite pancake recipe is an old standby and can be found in the joy of cooking. here's what it looks like inside my edition.



wow. that photo sucks. you should probably own a joy of cooking anyways. go pick one up. get it from the library if you must just so that you can write down this recipe and the one for banana bread. YUM!

speaking of bananas -
i always seem to have rotten ones lying around.



i decided to make use of this one and i mashed it into the pancake batter. this is really, really good.
i've done it before and i'll do it again!

while i was whippin' up this batter i started cookin' up a few of those sausage links in a lil' skillet and i got my griddle nice and hot. (i LOVE my griddle/grill. it rules. get one of these too.)

once it was nice and hot i used a 1/4 c. measuring cup to pour the batter out onto the griddle. when they get bubbles that start bursting they are ready to flip.
these ones are just about ready to flip.



they should look like this:



i loaded these babies up with real butter (again - fuck margarine!) and a lot of maple syrup! i poured maple syrup all over the maple sausage links too. outta sight!!

(historical side note - when i was a youngster i didn't like syrup cuz i hated to have sticky hands. wtf?! what a neurotic little nut case i was. man, i missed out on a lot when i was a kid!)

the other day i mentioned that although the egg-in-a-hole (aka picture frame eggs according to the viper) was delicious it would likely not replace my usual hungover weekend breakfast of dippy eggs and fried potatoes and it has not. last saturday i whipped up my favorite breakfast simply because it is my favorite.

here is what it looks like:



dippy eggs are rather self explanatory. you crack two eggs in a hot pan and when they are lookin' about done you flip 'em and let 'em cook for just a few more seconds and you're good to go. the potatoes though - i'll go ahead and break those down so you can give 'em a whirl.

i use red potatoes. i like to cut them up in little cubes. however, before i do that i slice up about 1/2 an onion and toss it into a hot pan with both butter and olive oil. once they start to brown i toss in the potatoes and sprinkle the whole mess VERY liberally with lawry's season salt and cook 'em until they are nice and crispy. so good. so very, very good.

now please, please, please do me a favor and cook your own breakfast from here on out! you can do it and i guarantee it will be better than any over priced crapola you'll get out there!

fine mexican dining

you are about to learn the secret to authentic mexican cuisine. the best of the best. muy delicioso. and all for just $1.99!


ok. so i lied. there is nothing authentic or delicioso about a $1.99 food club taco kit. however, when times are tough and you feel like entertaining tacos aren't half bad. i ain't too proud and thankfully neither were my dinner guests!

i had about a pound of ground beef in my freezer from the last cousin's dinner, a few leaves of romaine lettuce from my lunchtime salads, a single tomato, (on it's way out but shhh! don't tell), about a quarter of a brick of cheddar cheese and half a container of sour cream. i also picked a few green onions from my garden.

since i just recently used my last can of black beans i opted for some rice as a good filler. i made it using chicken broth instead of water (thanks mrs. weitz for the tip). i cooked the ground beef in a skillet and after it was drained i added the magical food club "taco seasoning." i washed and chopped all my veggies, grated some cheese and cooked the shells in the oven for about 7 minutes.

my friend megos brought over some chips and salsa and we all opted for the taco salad over the regular stuffed tacos. i've been doing this forever and i find it a much better way to eat 'em. i crush up 2-3 shells and then add all my fixin's. delish!

here's proof! hardly anything left!



after we all pigged out we watched a marvelous movie: the testament of dr. mabuse. scary! awesome! check it out!

it came to me in a dream

my friend the viper, inspired by this, tells me i need to include more breakfast foods.

i like breakfast. i LOVE breakfast.
sometimes i make breakfast for dinner.

however, i dislike going out to breakfast. breakfast should be cooked at home, in your jammies, whilst nursing a hangover. it should not be eaten in a tacky chain restaurant like this one or worse this one for a number of reasons (awful decor and old timey games and crying children accounting for nearly half. seriously, who wants that at 9:00 am with a ragin' hangover? not me.)

first of all they do not know how to properly cook my eggs (only i know how to do that) and also the food is freakin' outrageously over priced! why pay $5-$10 for something mediocre when you can make something marvelous at home for like 50 cents?!
don't get me wrong - a good greasy spoon is a whole other story. there just aren't too many in my neck of the woods and i still hate spending money on breakfast.

so, once again i channeled my latest hero and set out to make myself some egg-in-a-hole.

any breakfast requires a lot of butter so this should probably always be your first step.



i used a glass to cut a hole in the middle of a piece of rye bread and i plopped it into the melted butter. i let it cook a little bit so the bread would be a little toasty and then
i cracked an egg right in the hole.



i like my eggs dippy but not slimy so i flipped my egg-in-a-hole. i also threw the cut out circle of bread into the buttery pan and crisped it up so i could dip that.

i would say this was a pretty delicious breakfast. i don't think it will replace my standard weekend morning fare of two dippy eggs, toast and fried potatoes but i might make it again some morning to impress a friend.

friday night's all right for steak

after i discovered that my friend's birthday gathering was next friday not this friday i weighed my options for fun. shortly i discovered that everyone had plans. rats. well, looks like the only thing i could do
was cook myself up a killer dinner.

i decided on steak. the other day i hung out with my friend rick and he told me he knew the secret of the best steak ever.
cast iron. and then he told me how he did it.

before i even started doing anything i took my steak out of the package and let it sit on the counter for about two hours so that it would come up to room temperature. i picked this one because it was only $6.50 at acme.



while that was resting i decided to make myself a pseudo caprese salad. i've had basil for a while but i finally got two lil' red tomatoes and i was psyched to use them. i didn't have any fresh mozzarella but i did have a block of parmesan and i love using my brand new zester/grater.


i mixed it all together with a little olive oil and pepper. yum.




after enjoying my lil' salad i put my cast iron skillet in the oven and cranked up the heat to 500 degrees. while that was heating up i started my twice baked potato. i used to make these ALOT when i was living at home.
super easy and really good.

i baked my potato in the microwave and once it was done i cut it in half and scooped out all of the insides.



to the potato i added sour cream, cheddar cheese, chopped up green onion (also from my garden!) and some salt and pepper.


i mixed it all up and then put it all back into the potato skin and
put it in the oven.



by now my skillet was nice and hot so i moved it to my stove top at medium heat. i seasoned my steak with some season salt and lemon pepper a la pioneer woman and i rubbed a lil' bit of olive oil on one side. then i put it oil side down into that sizzling hot skillet.



i seared the steak for two minutes on each side and then i moved it to the broiler. before that though i plopped about a tablespoon of butter right on top. mmmmmm.



i left the steak in the broiler for about five or six more minutes (for medium rare) and then i transferred it to a plate, covered it with foil and let it rest for about five more minutes.



whoa. look at this. holy cow. i paired these meal with gentle ben's final stella artois and no joke - it was the best steak i've ever eaten.

cheap - KILLER - eats

i had an amazing italian dinner last night for $6.50. holy cow! some friends and i went to ristorante abruzzi aka the
tallmadge/akron italian center.

they do it every single thursday night and it is some homemade goodness. for $6.50 you get a delightful little salad, fresh bread and your choice of rigatoni & meatballs or spaghetti & meatballs (VERY healthy portions). they also have a full (kinda) bar and beers are like $3.00! FANTASTIC food and it is served to you by the most wonderful lil' old italian ladies. i just love it!

you're busy on thursdays? what about tuesdays? the carovillese club holds a similar dinner (they have ravioli in addition to the spaghetti and rigatoni and it is AMAZING!) on tuesdays. i think it is even around the same price.
same set up and a whole other bunch of adorable italian women servin' up the good stuff.

both of these places have incredibly good food at insanely reasonable prices. plus it is good to support these little local establishments. go check 'em out. delicious!

down in the dumps? fry your dinner!

my place of employment currently has me down in the dumps. i love my job. the problem is i am sick and tired of getting paid nothing to do it. there are numerous factors at play here (and this is not the venue in which to discuss them) so instead i will discuss the thing that brings me out of the dumps -
fried chicken! and i'm not talking about that impostor KFC crap.
i'm talking about the real thing!

i had a couple of chicken breasts in my freezer so i took one out after work and defrosted in a bit. the key is to soak your chicken in buttermilk. i don't know why that is key but it is. usually you want to soak it overnight up to 24 hours but i didn't have that kinda time. i got about 2 hours of soaking in. while my breast was soaking (heehee) i mixed up a little spice rub. another key - don't season the flour. flour is for dredging only. season the actual piece of chicken. this spice mix was some sea salt, garlic powder, paprika and cayenne pepper.




once that is all taken care of you want to melt some crisco. this is another key. vegetable oil can just piss right off. melt yourself down some crisco and fry in that. try it. you will never stop thanking me for that tip!




also important - a good cast iron skillet. thank you grandma for giving me this well seasoned gem. it is a beauty and i LOVE it. melt the crisco slowly over low heat. once it is all melted turn the heat up a little and heat up the oil to about 325 degrees - not hotter! also, if you're doing a bunch of chicken you want the oil to come up about 1/3 of the way in the pan. since i was cooking for one i opted to waste less crisco and ended up having to cook the chicken longer.

a side dish? i decided to throw some potatoes right into the crisco with the chicken. sizzly and delicious.



now i could lie to you and say i whipped up some kind of healthy vegetable or a side salad to go along with this fine fried meal but that would be a lie. salads don't get people outta the dumps. fried chicken and potatoes get people outta the dumps. i put my sanity in crisco's hands.


yum. yum. yum. fired goodness. fried happiness. a lil' piece of fried sanity. i decided to pair this meal with a stella artois since my good friend gentle ben brought a 12-pack over the other day and left a few in the fridge for me.


thank you crisco.
my paychecks still suck but at least i have enough money to buy
the fixin's for fried chicken.